Life and Sports

Sometimes, I find it easy to approach life as if it were a sporting event. Life would be so easy if it was like a sporting event. Anyone who has ever played an organized sport would probably agree with me. When you play a sport you learn some important lessons, acquire important knowledge and develop useful skills.

One way life could be easy if we treat it like a baseball or football game is endurance. It takes a tremendous amount of energy and resources to get through a productive day in my life. In organized sports, players learn to train so as to build up the endurance necessary to play the game from start to finish. At the end of the day, I always seek to “have my legs underneath me.” When I tell people this, many never understand what I mean. It’s frustrating to have to explain this.

For me, it is important to have the same bounce in my step at midnight as I had when I awoke at sunrise the previous morning. Whatever life has coming my way, I want to be able to respond quickly both mentally and physically. When I feel like I have a fresh pair of legs beneath me, it makes things easy. I feel strong and energetic, even when I know I am tired.

I find it depressing when people fail to keep up with the pace of the challenges we all face in our everyday lives. Some people are sitting on their butts while an opportunity to flash the brilliance they possess passes them by. Some people are napping when something happens that could improve the quality of their life. Some people are taking a smoke break, while others are being productive, causing themselves to be left behind.

I hate missed opportunities. But one thing I know for certain, when I miss an opportunity it will not be because I am napping, sleeping or otherwise displaying a lack of energy to get through a typical day. I am always looking to be able to keep pace with my challenges. This way, if the chance to get ahead of life challenges comes my way, I will be able to take advantage.

More About Pride

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”

Proverbs 11:2

As I journey through this phase of my life, I am reminded of lessons from my youth. Many of my elders, family, teachers and such warned me constantly that I must be mindful of the traps a man’s pride sets for him. The problem with you is that you often feel invincible, immortal and filled with pride. When I came of age, I felt all of these things.

I felt invincible because I learned early in life that there will be both times of joy and times of sadness. I also learned that I would succeed and fail. I was optimistic because I only focused on the success and the times of joy. I did not learn from failures or the experiences that made me sad. I felt that I could survive anything life had in store. In a way, the sad times and those times I failed at things were very minor bumps in the road I thought was leading towards greatness.

I felt immortal in the sense that death was not something I understood. It was moment so far away that it didn’t matter. Even losing a close or distant family member here and there never hit me hard emotionally. I had my first thoughts of mortality when my uncle died when I was twenty one. That made the concept of death real to me. But the circumstances were such that I felt I could control my own fate by protecting myself by carrying a gun. I also felt my lifestyle was such that I would be entitled to a long life.

I have said all of this to express how prideful youth can be for some people. It is not as if I grew up with family wealth, in an elite community with large houses and fancy cars. I grew up in a working class community in the transition to becoming a poor one. I grew up familiar with street gangs and the underground economy thriving in the manufacturing and distribution of illegal goods and services. Violence was not uncommon.

In spite of these challenges I felt above all of that in a way. I can share something my father said to me as I got older. He said that he knew that I thought I was better than he was. It’s interesting to reflect on that now. In a way, I felt smaller than he was. He knew so much about the world. Cars and animals were his favorite things to talk at great length about.

I did strive to achieve a higher level of education than he had achieved. But I did so because of the effort both of my parents made to have the resources at home to promote learning. Encyclopedia sets at home. Books and magazines of all sorts were available at home. On a rainy day, when we could not go outside, we were told to pick up a damn book.

Sometimes, the result of giving your children the best you can offer results in them being spoiled. In this way, I guess I was prideful in displaying how smart I thought I was. I might not have said so much with words, as I did nonverbally in my communication with him. The demonstrations of disrespect may have damaged the relationship I had with my father. Thinking back I know I have to repent for these indiscretions as they would explain the disrespect I have showed towards authority figures throughout my life.

As I continue to pray for guidance to not allow pride to stand in the way of my mental and spiritual growth, I must seek forgiveness for those sins committed due to prideful behavior throughout the course of my life.

Pride

Today, in Bible Study we talked about the burial of Abraham’s wife Sarah. I imagine that anyone who has had the responsibility of burying a loved one while maintaining their responsibilities to the rest of the family knows what Abraham was going through at that time. When his wife died, his search for a burial place was complicated by the offer of land by Ephron. There is no clear answer as to why the offer of a place to bury a loved one complicated things.

In discussion, the topic of Abraham’s refusal of Ephron’s gift came up. One school of thought on Abraham’s refusal of the gift was that of pride. Another school of thought on the refusal was a difference in culture. Each of these approaches has merit. However, I’d like to explore the pride angle.

Dictionary.com defines pride as “a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.” If Abraham refused the gift out of pride, there seems to be good reason he would do so. Abraham had been blessed to become a wealthy man based on his submission to God’s will. He had proven to be worthy by his willingness to sacrifice his only son. I can’t say that there are many people today who would show that level of commitment in their faith.

When a person is blessed to have the resources to pay for a meal, gas or a movie theater ticket, it is ok for them to do so. Sometimes, we may have a friend or associate who may be able to offer us free admission to enter a show. Others may offer us a free meal at a local restaurant. When times are good financially, I have no problem paying my way for anything. I’ll even offer, without much thought or effort, to pay the way for others. I certainly will refuse free things when I am in a position to pay my own way.

As I listen to my response in my head, as I type, I realize how pride can stand in the way of blessings. Saving money is a luxury that many people cannot afford. Sometimes my financial resources are just enough to cover the necessities of everyday life. At other times, my resources are abundant and there is more than enough to get by with. Ideally, I should keep spending the same, so as to help in times where the resources are scarce.

Sometimes the refusal of a gift is the most appropriate thing to do. When I was in the process of getting divorced, my ex-wife told me that she had a gift for my birthday. I told her no thanks, but she kept saying that if I came to visit her, she would give me a gift that was something she knew I really wanted. After giving it some thought, I stood my ground and refused to see her for the sake of getting a gift. The gift would have been a Sony PlayStation. It would have saved me a few hundred dollars and was certainly something I wanted at the time. Had I taken this gift during a visit, I may have delayed the process of finalizing my divorce.

To be honest, I can’t share this without an important piece of information. I have this policy when I am dating regarding gifts. I have told every woman I have dated that “I don’t accept gifts from women.” The reason I incorporated this policy was to avoid those awkward moments when some people like to share all they have ever done for you in a relationship. I never wanted those exchanges that often occur at the end of relationships.

So, as long as I was the one showering others with gifts, I was able to live up to the idea of manhood I aspired in my relationships. A woman did not do for me, I did for her. I’ll share in detail how that has gone for me throughout the years, but not in this post. However, it may explain the propensity to date needy women. Pride then, potentially has limited the pool of potential mates over the course of two decades.

I can’t clearly state that pride is the reason Abraham refused the gift and paid approximately ten pounds of silver for the land. I would imagine that if it were pride, there may have been a missed blessing that could have limited Abraham’s ability to be used by God. If a person misses a blessing, they may be limited in what they can do for others seeking God. I’d hate to find out that my pride caused me to miss a gift, whether it is a piece of information, the development of a skill or simply a piece of something that could help a person find God.

I’ll end this post with a prayer;

Heavenly Father, allow me the ability to recognize those moments where I am prideful. Help me to obtain the knowledge, wisdom and understanding necessary to be a humble servant. If I can overcome pride this should help me be used by You in whatever ways You deem best. I desire to be virtuous and pride stands in the way of excellence. I ask this in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

A Good Day

“Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ,  who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)

Today has been a very good day for me. I was able to get through the reading of the responsive scripture without incident. Sunday school probably helped put my mind in the right place, prior to service. Today’s service was a reminder that the believer’s place in God’s kingdom is theirs if they walk the walk. Being reminded to only look back for reflection to remember from where one has come on their journey in faith is important. I guess the combination of contributing to service and hearing an amazing sermon helped make this Sunday a good day.

So, the reverend who gave the sermon talked about looking back. When I think about my own journey, I realize that I spend too much time looking back. I usually refer to this as reflecting on my past. I would hate to be turned into a pillar of salt by looking back when God has told me to focus on the road ahead. When is it ok to look back?

As a distance runner, I understand the value of pacing oneself for a long race. Being a man in his early forties, it becomes clear that the days left ahead are not quite as long as the days behind us for many. How quickly do I walk, jog or run this journey in faith? That’s a scary thought in a way. That thought tells me that I should never look back.

On the flipside of that thought is the reality that people learn from the stories we tell about our lives. Sometimes, there is an experience you can reflect upon that someone else can relate to. A story may help them see the world from your perspective, at least for a moment. This could help someone else come closer to God. You just never know.

While I can’t answer the question of when is it ok to look back, I’ll hopefully find that answer soon enough.

My Sunday’s Best

“Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ,  who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” (Galatians 1:3-5)

The weekend has finally come and I am excited to be a part of my churches’ anniversary. I get to read scripture to the congregation. While certainly a minor part in the day’s activities, it’s a pretty cool way to contribute to the service. I have not been in a position to sing a song or do anything in front of a church in many years. I’m wondering what the odds of me freezing are.

I remember sometimes the only scripture I would read would oftentimes be one or more of the ones read aloud during a Sunday service. When I consider this fact for my own self, I come to realize that some other people may have the same experience. This is probably the one reason I would hate to freeze out of nervousness. This thought makes me want to find out what the scripture for the service is in advance, so that I can practice.

If I were preparing for a professional presentation, I’d go over what I had to present over and over to commit it to memory. That part of who I am would like to call around until I find out what the scripture for Sunday will be. For some reason I have chosen not to take that road. I have chosen to just pray for the ability to read the scripture aloud, clear enough to be heard with the right emphasis and speed so that the congregation gets the intended meaning of the scripture for that day. That type of faith that God will move me to do what’s right, in the moment is something new for me.

Let’s just pray things go as planned.

Fleeting Friendship

Galatians 1:3-5 reads “Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ,  who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.” This is perfect for my mood, since I am having one of those days. I am saddened this day as it marks the failure of my goal to build a positive relationship that has become something damaged beyond repair.

Approximately two months ago I set a goal of building rapport with someone who had started to feel like a good friend. Today I realized that the mess of a life that I created for myself has cost me the hand of friendship to one I had grown fond of in a very short period of time. This loss is startling as I can’t see any way to find the correct arrangement of words and actions to salvage this relationship.

Of the things I expected from God, in making the transition to a person of faith was the friendship of people who were believers. Never in previous years did I seek the friendship of believers. I also viewed people of faith, or those who publicly claimed faith as hypocrites. There has been no shortage of shining examples of hypocrites from those who were publicly shamed in the news of those I knew from personal experience. Only now have I been able to see that there are those capable of remaining truly faithful to God, while at the same time being imperfect in their thought and action.

What better a friend can one person have than a person who is willing to provide an example of what a faithful servant looks like? The other thing better than this, is having God Himself as your friend. Maybe that’s what this experience is all about. Ecclesiastes 3 begins “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” What purpose could there be for a fleeting friendship?

Could it be that at this stage in my development I am unworthy of a Christian friendship? This to me makes sense, given the demands friendship requires over time. Maybe I need to focus on being a good Christian and then friendship comes as part of the process. But seriously, do I need to wait for friendship? I don’t know the answer to this, as prayer and meditation should help me clear the way for a message from God.

I am wondering as I write this how does a person listen to God? In the past, I assumed that the manifestation of God’s presence in my life would be through my actions. I always figured that actions spoke volumes about who I was, and that gave me the solace I sought back then. Today, I am awaiting a new understanding of how to perceive a message from God.

While I lament the loss of what I have termed a fleeting friendship, I am happy to have had the experience. Whether you have a friend for a moment or a lifetime, the impact they can have on your life can be great. Setting and accomplishing goals, sharing life altering events and other things that create lasting memories are the things I take away from this experience. The recognition of these things, as I am writing makes this failure feel more like a success. Not success as a reason to celebrate, but more a recognition of the completion of the cycles of friendship, if that is the case here. Only time will tell.

Conceal and Carry

In the state of Illinois, there are digital signs updating drivers about the incidence of deaths on Illinois roadways. The numbers are updated every so often with the intent of raising awareness about driving safely. Why aren’t there signs posted with updates of the number of people murdered throughout the state in general, and the city of Chicago specifically. Is there no desire to warn citizens that people are dying at an alarming rate in the nation’s third largest city?

Exodus 20:13 states “Though shalt not kill.” Clearly God does not condone these senseless killings on the streets of this great nation. Matthew 26:52-4 reads “Then said Jesus unto him, Put up again thy sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.” Are we as a nation setting ourselves up for chastisement from God? Clearly, this spike in murder is not a sign of great things to come.

Will the new law allowing people to obtain conceal and carry permits help curb the rise in gun related crimes and violence? The answer to this question is simply no. There is no solution to this problem that will work without consulting God. It seems that lawmakers, public policy critics and others fail to see the significance of the Creator in dealing with this problem. As a general populace, people need to turn to faith to help solve this issue.

I can propose this way because I grew up in a violent city, in a violent era and eventually chose to put down the gun. I have not carried a gun in Chicago for quite some time. In the past, when visiting the city, after moving away, I would carry a weapon for self-defense. After careful consideration and one bad incident, I changed that practice and have lived safely since that time. When I decided to obey the law and place my safety in the hands of God, I relieved myself of a heavy burden.

Chiraq

This morning, at approximately seven o’clock in the morning, I spent some time on Chicago’s famed lakefront. For a former industrial metropolis, the city remains green, vibrant and beautiful. A diverse population spends days like this walking, running and biking this magnificent lakefront. Little children play about as their parents build and maintain foundations for a bright future. The four day holiday weekend that saw many Americans celebrate the nation’s birthday was a war zone in the city of Chicago, better known by its new moniker Chiraq.

Chicago has earned this nickname by returning to its former glory as a haven for violence and death. The murder rate in this city has increased to rates similar to what was seen in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. Many people find it difficult to embrace the reality that the city of Chicago is a graveyard for young people, Black males in particular. This past weekend saw approximately forty shootings that left ten people dead and half a hundred or so people injured, but millions feeling violated by the violent gunplay plaguing the communities within and around the city limits.

I remember growing up in an era that included the crack cocaine epidemic that occurred at the end of the last century. This epidemic was riddled with increased violence, gang warfare and other elements of the nation’s ‘war on drugs.’ I remember simultaneously living in fear and dreaming of a bright future, much the children spread across this great city. I remember gunshots ringing in the middle of the night on days like the Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve.

I remember being taught to lay down on the floor during those nights, for fear of stray bullets claiming a random life. This and other survival techniques were not uncommon among people growing up in that era. Coming of age in a violent city scars a person in ways my vocabulary doesn’t provide the words to describe.

To get through this violent era, we must ask for and await divine intervention. We must all turn to faith to get us through these moments. We must pray for those who remain in the violent streets. We must pray for those who choose to pick up a gun and use it as a weapon against friend and foe. We must pray for those who are charged with the duty to serve and protect the citizenry, as that remains a daunting task. We must pray for the souls of those who we have lost as a result of the rising violence in Chicago. We must also pray the coming of a day when the violence ceases and God blesses the world with peace.

Egypt

The trouble in Egypt helps me put the things I am dealing with in life in perspective. One of the benefits of living in one of the greatest empires of the modern (or more appropriately post-modern) era of human history is the stability of the social system. With ease I can sit here on my couch, with the television going and write this post with no immediate cause for concern. I can do this with ease because of this nation’s history of peaceful transitions of power.

One of the fascinating things about Egypt is the history of the people and the land. Egypt has had great significance for the development of human civilizations. In recent years, Egyptians have undergone a great deal of change in a very short period of time. Recently accepting democracy has not aided in the stability of this society. Egypt is a nation struggling with its identity. It is also a nation that is an unsafe place for its inhabitants at this moment. It is dangerous because people have used force as a strategy to create change. People are abusing power and taking up arms to make the change they seek.

The most courageous people in Egypt are the ones who are choosing to protest peacefully for the change they seek. To be peaceful in the face of others wielding guns, grenades and other weapons used to control others. There are lives in the balance of Egypt’s transition to a new era. As the casualties pile up, I am praying for divine intervention on behalf of the people of that nation.